I'm just kinda like, sitting here in the sunshine.
It's a Saturday afternoon as I write this after a shitty shit shit workweek, which PS was only three days long cuz I was on vacation with my family for the other two magical days. Maybe that made the three days shittier. I miss my family.
This week, I decided to give myself a break. After releasing a ticking stress bomb on Monday by awkward-bursting into tears in an adorable AirBnB in the middle of the awe-inspiring beauty of nature, I made the conscious decision to just give myself a break already.
I hadn't even realized how much I was ignoring the fact that I needed some space. I just kept pushing the exhaustion down, shutting the stress away, moving on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
But that's just not sustainable, and I blew. It just came out of me and I had ZERO control over it. My husband literally had to chase me as I ran with my face covered from room to room sobbing uncontrollably and trying to understand why I couldn't find a tissue. It was the most embarrassing catharsis I've ever experienced in my life.
So this week, I cancelled my evening workout classes. I decided not to wake up extra early to work. I had pizza two nights in a row (and guys, there is still time to make that three.) I watched a Charlie Chaplin movie with the love of my life. I scrolled the fuck out of Instagram. I have a massage later.
I opened my eyes and looked around.
I just saw a dog that looked like a bear wearing a shag rug.
And also, I started thinking. I got inspired by random stuff and got a few new ideas for stuff I want to make. That feels like a big deal to me, because lately I've sort of just felt dead and empty.
So I'm writing this now in case you have also been feeling like a ticking stress bomb. Here's a friendly reminder that you're allowed to take the pressure off and explore. You're allowed to take a fucking nap.
Yes, you may absolutely have that second piece of cake.
Go to that dance class you've been wanting to try. Watch YouTube videos for two hours (five hours.)
Do whatever the fuck you want.
Because as much as we all try to avoid the fact, we are all fucking human, and we all hit our limits sometimes.
You constantly going isn't you getting more done. It's basically you expending an excess of your precious energy for diminishing returns.
Productivity isn't about constant activity. Productivity is about an effective exchange of energy for results produced. If you're not expending your energy effectively, you're not moving, you're not growing, you're not progressing.
You're stagnating. You're stifled. You're stopped.
Taking the time to recharge, to lift the burden of that pressure you've put on yourself, is key to nurturing your creative productivity. That time of rest is when you allow yourself to open up again. It's when those new solutions appear, when new ideas are cultivated, when new opportunities are uncovered.
It's when you recuperate in your stilltent before continuing on your way across the sands of Arrakis toward fulfilling your ultimate purpose, (please tell me you have read Dune????)
You need both push and pull, and there are times when you've got to pull back in order to push forward.
So, I want you to check in with yourself. What do you need right now? Do you need to soldier onward? Or is it time to take a gee-damn break?
Decompress. Look around. Take a breath.
Let me know how it goes.