My apartment is a scary place.

There is shit EV-ER-Y-WHERE.

It would almost be ok (almost) if the Mess Monster, (or Mister Messter,) hadn’t also taken claim of my workspace.

But Mister Messter did claim my workspace.


And so, it’s time for us to talk about – DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAA…

CLUTTER. (Cue vintage horror movie graphic here.)

It’s everywhere. It’s in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the living room, in the office. All the places. And it’s driving me FUCKING NUTSOES, YOU GUYS.

The clutter on the outside is making me feel clutter on the inside. And it should never have gone this far. But it did. And at some point or other in everyone’s life, it just does.

We all have goals. We all have hopes and dreams. We’re all hustling like the bosses we are to make those dreams come true. But guys, we forget that the dishes have to get done, and now they’ve spiraled out of control. (Because seriously, why the effing ef would I even be thinking about doing dishes while I'm stuffing my face full of holiday goodies and hanging with my family?)

Building a business is WORK. It takes dedication, organization, motivation – all the –ations – plus strategizing and planning and creating…

And and and.

All these –ations and –ings require one to have a certain amount of mental clarity, and I’ll tell you what: the clutter does not get you there.

All clutter gets you is confusion, sadness and inefficiency.

So, let us examine this, for the sanity of us BOTH.



Why Clutter Happens and What We Can Do About It: How to Defeat Mister Messter.

Problem: Nothing has a place to live.

Solution: Find it a gee-damn home already.

The homeless population of your living space, like that of this nation, is getting out of hand.

Do you have pens and pencils in all corners of the house?

Are there papers just flying around, flapping hopelessly in the breeze while you forget why you even kept them in the first place?

Are there random dishes just kinda hanging out because you forgot to put them in the dishwasher after you were done, and now you’re used to seeing them so you just LEAVE THEM THERE?

This. Cannot. Be a thing.

Even if these exact things aren’t happening, you know what your clutter is. And you know what needs to be done.

First and foremost, identify all the trash and throw it the ef away.

A lot of those bits of paper I have are things like extra envelopes that came inside larger envelopes and receipts that are so old, I can’t even read them anymore.

Why are they here?...

There is literally no reason and they’re going in the recycling right the ef now.


Next, find ways to organize your workspace in a functional way,

whatever that might mean to you. Maybe it means color coding. Maybe it means you need a new cabinet. Maybe it means reorganizing the cabinet you already have in order to use the space better.

It won’t look the same for everyone, so I’m not about to tell you to go to the Container Store to complete the end-all-be-all Pinterest project Martha Stewart swears by. (You guys, though – there are so many awesome Pinterest projects we could get started on right now. #newyearnewproject)

You figure it out. Spoiler alert: you’re a grownup, and you’re doing some really awesome stuff with your life. You deserve to give yourself a clean, functional and beautiful space to exist in.


Now, look around at what you’ve just created for yourself,

and sigh a GIANT sigh of relief.

Depending on how much clutter there was to begin with, it might have taken you hours – it might have taken you DAYS – to get rid of it. (Let’s be real, it might take weeks.)

But this is the moment that you get to sit back, sip a cup of tea/glass of wine/flagon of mead and enjoy the beautiful space you just created for yourself.

The next time you sit down at that clean desk, coffee table, breakfast nook, couch cranny or whatever the fuck, you will have freed up the extra brain space you didn’t even realize you were using to worry about the clutter.

Once everything has a place to live, there’s no real reason to leave it out and wonder what to do with it. Just put it back where it goes, and you’re done.

Mister Messter has been defeated, and you can go back to giving all those awesome –ations and –ings your full attention.

It’s that easy. (Spoiler alert #2: maybe it’s not actually that easy, but it’s so. Effing. Worth it.) 

You’re welcome, you beautiful, inspiring, dream-catching son-of-a-bitch, you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some de-cluttering to do.


What does your clutter look like and what are you going to do about it? (And seriously, can you recommend a Pinterest project?)