Current emotion: AFRAID.
Scared as absolute fuck.
I have come to the decision that I'm going to learn how to box. And while the idea of being able to throw punches and move like a fucking Jedi Master sounds awesome, and envisioning myself with that kind of ability is incredibly empowering, I continue to be afraid
Afraid of what I'll look like. Afraid to be bad at it and what that failure will feel like. Afraid that people will be as embarrassed about my body and lack of coordination as I am myself.
It's making me sad. And really, I'm working myself into a little bit of a frenzy of scared then sad then mad for being scared and back around again.
But let me back up a little bit.